Jar of Hearts
by loveblindslogic
Summary: I do not own Twilight. Edward left Bella five years ago. now he is back looking for her. already broken, hurt and fighting demons. can she take the pain he is going to bring?


My** fourth story! Read and Review! I do not own Twilight.**

**This story is based on Jar of Hearts. **

**...**

I picked up the last item on my list, Pepper Spray. I through the item in the basket and briskly walked to the casher station. My back tensed up at the line in front of me. I laughed quietly to myself and shook my head. My hair falling into my face; I can't even go to the damn store without getting scared. I breathed calming and reassuring words to myself but my inner demon who moved in when he moved out. Why would he be here? My demon;to buy food, even he has to eat. Me, yah thanks Demon. Demon; no problem Bella. I mentally slap my self for talking to it this time. I could of sworn I heard it snicker some where in my head. Damn. I've gone crazy.

I handed the lady the money and walked away. The cold air of outside stung my cheeks, light snow flakes started to fall clinging to my hat and scarf. It was the middle of November, surprised it didn't start to snow in August. I walked to my silver Honda, my red pick up truck passed away three years ago. When i finally got into my car I brought my hand to the heater. I let myself fall into my memories.

_ I pressed my head on the mirror, letting the tears washed down my face. my fist made contact with the my damn reflection repeatly. Why? Why? I fell back from the mirror onto the bathroom floor. I never cried so much in my life. Not when I broke my ankle. Not when my Gran Gran died. Never. My heart and stomach lerching sweat on my forehead tears streaming my face. It hurt. Felt like fire. Felt like lava. Pain. Yes that's it. Pain. A part of me died on that floor. Ripped right out my chest, I'll never get it back. He ruined that for me. My eyes locked on the green razor on the tub. My fingers sticky with sweat-_

_..._

_ I lurched back out of my nightmare. Silly Bella, the sound of my loving friend. You can't have a nightmare when you're not sleeping. I pulled the band on my wrist letting it go hearing a snap in the process. Pain. Yes, something I know. I back out the parking space and headed to my business. A tiny little shop nice and warm. I sold books, checked books out. It even had a little bakery. I walked in the front door; and made my way to the back of the store to bake some cookies. I smiled happily to myself, forgetting about him. Dusting books, baking goods watch as the little girl dig her nose in the icing. All good things end. My demon says after disappearing for a few hours once I turned the sign to close. I hate you, I say. _

_ That night I lay in bed. Wide awake his coming you know. You can't run forever. Maybe I can. All the way to Europe. His rich he will find you. must I say it? No, Go To Hell. My demon knows me all to well. _

_..._

_I drove five hours to get here. My bottom lip raw and red or redder than it already was. I walked in the clinic. Smells like a regular doctors office. I wonder how they pull that off. My eyes red and puffy but that's nothing knew it's been like that for two months 5 days and 12 hours. I scratch my skin. Pull my hair. Shift in my seat. Scared. My new feeling since pain. My named called. Swan. All to soon. All to late. My heart rate picks up. Heart attack? No. Damn. Sure would be easier than this. I walked into the room with one chair. I sit back, feeling I'd vomit if I don't. You already did. Five times. I tried not to read the poster, but it was to late. Abortion Clinic. I closed my eyes and snaped my rubber band around my wrist. I'm a month pregant. But I can't keep it. He runied my life, I can't ruin this baby. The ladies voice broke my thaughts. Your going to feel a slight pinch then go numb. _

_..._

_I woke up covers in sweat. I let out a breath then sobs. I was fine. Why did he come back? I have to get up. Get started. Everything I did that day was paced. How many bites of cereal. Walk slowly then briskly slow down. Mix slowly; pour 1,2,3 stop! At the end of the night. I knew he was there from the moment I stepped into the air._

_"Bella?" He Breathe that sound use to make me blush._

_"Edward." I reply ready to get this shit over with._

_ You look beautiful under this moon light my love. I swirled around to see his face. "what?" He took a step close a glimmer in his eyes. I would have died for that. " You look beautiful. Surprised your not taken." He tried to touch my face. I quickley slap his hand away. Hurt. Good, that's what he need. "Bella I'm sorry." I snapped " Your sorry? Ha. Your sorry! You've been gone for five fucking years!? And your sorry?" I breathe fire in my voice. He took a step back. " I needed time to grow be a man. I hurt you in the process but I always loved you!" I laughed agian. Yeah I'm not so 'beautiful' now. "Did you tell Jessica that?" The look on his face was priceless. Befor I let him lie. "Or Tanya? What about Vivve the whole damn cheer team?!" "Bella please. You know thats a lie!" I got even madder. " No Edward your the lie! You hurt me! You hurt them! You ripped out my heart! I hate you! I was fine! I was surviving but you. Came. Back! Why?! To take what I have left well guess what Edward Fuckin Cullen! you can't have me!" Edward tears streaming down his face tried to grab me around the waste. I slapped him then blinded him with paper spray. He crumbled to the ground. I couldn't help myself. I kicked him in his stomach hearing him cry out was fantastic. " I cried, I screamed, I cut myself and I went to the damn Abortion Clinic. His eyes looked at me in horror. " you killed my baby?" I stepped ovholmium and into my Honda. You can't get me Edward, not agian never agian. _

_..._

_I walked into one of the bedrooms in my house. I tucked the covers under her legs. Without opening her eyes " mommy? Where have you been?" I laughed. "I've been cleaning my closet." She turned towards me. " That makes no sence." I kissed her forehead. " your five, what do you know?" Yes, I went to the clinic; but as soon as I felt that move. I stopped. I couldn't do it. Why would I end a life befor it began. _

_1 week later_

_ Me and Arianna was boreding a plaine to Georgia. I was tired of Forks and its Bull Shit. I hate the rain, the people that stare who has no life. I want to go swimming but also snow on Christmas. I want to feel free."Mommy!" Well as free as I can be with a five year old. Edward Cullen will not have my soul anymore._

ok, this story was mostly written on my Ipod cause my sister had the dumb computer all day. it 12:30 and I need to get to bed going to see After Earth tomorrow!


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